Checking In...

Heading to Panama July 2008

Things are still good here. I got the shot to increase my white blood cells on Friday. I haven't had any real muscle aches since then, which was supposed to be a side effect. They told me exercise would help to control them. So I played volleyball last Friday, worked out on Sunday and played volleyball on Monday again. Granted I am not playing my best volleyball or working out very hard or very long, but I think it is so awesome I can even do any of it. Yay!

Gracie continues to get more comfortable and gain more personality. She doesn't quite understand that when I blink my eyes that it is NOT a game and that she should not try to paw at them. Luckily for me she has very soft paws and never puts her claws out.

My mom comes today to stay with us. Be on the look out for posts of Judy's Paradise Adventures.

Matt should be back soon. He was supposed to get back today, but I guess there is a storm off the island (Curie Atoll - the most northern island in the Hawaiian Chain is where he is). He has to wait until the storm dies down enough to where his transport ship - a coast guard vessel - can get close enough to pick him up. I sure hope it is less crazy than it sounds. But I expect some good stories of this trip from him - like how they ended up doing the water catchment and what size the solar refrigerator was and if it really worked and how crazy the 60 year old lady is that lives by herself on the island for months at a time cataloging birds .

Anyway, just a small update from me.

Have a great week!

Peace, MEA

There is a furry lolo soon to be in Palolo.

Kim, Me, Kellie & Tara (clockwise)

At the risk of you never voting on another one of my polls, I think I am going to call the kitten Gracie. Here's why: I once heard a pastor speaking on forgiveness. One of the things he said that stuck with me was this... Justice is when you get what you deserve, Mercy is when you don't get what you deserve, and Grace is when you get more than you deserve. That is really how I feel right now. That I am being blessed beyond my "deservedness" - and although the kitten is my current blessing, many of you know that I have had many more since being diagnosed. By calling her Gracie, it will be a constant reminder of the grace that I am living in.

I also promise not to post more than 100 pictures/videos of her. I know it sounds like a lot, but I have yet to capture the essence of her in a post. And because if I don't set a limit, I may lose control and this could be a blog completely dedicated to a kitten, funny for few, but not many. Here's a "random kitten video" to get us started

My step sisters flew in from Washington State Wednesday to be here to with me while Matt was gone. No, they didn't have to. And yes, it is a mini vacation for them (the first time just the three of them have traveled together since the mid 80's). I mean geez-o-pete, I live in Hawaii, why not come?

Kellie, Tara and Kim




Oh, this is my oncology doctor, Dr. Ken Sumida.

Thursday they got to spend some time of their mini-vacation seeing me get chemo. Whew! Exciting times I provide in Hawaii. We had fun though. They taught me a game called "13". I actually even won the last hand of it.
Then I drug them to the grocery store to get supplies for the bbq.

Then to the pound to pick up Gracie.

Then to my house to pack up 7 bags and a cooler to take to the bbq.

Then bbq'ed til 10:30. They were way tired by then (really 1:30 their time).

They were total troopers though. It was great to have them here.

So the gang continued our Thursday night tradition. But this week we finally talked Laramy into letting us cook for him and eating with us. Part of it is because I bribed him with the kitten, not the food - he is a cat whisperer. Plus we were able to invite a few more people bc we bbq'ed at the beach park near my house. It was another fun night had by all, and a great end to a Chemo day.

The Gang


Kim with Paul after she realized he was "The Paul Wright" Christian musician extraordinaire.

I felt great all through the day - no side effects for today.

I have to go back tomorrow and get a shot to help increase my white blood cell counts. They are lower than they would like them and this shot is supposed to help them increase rapidly. The only anticipated side effect is joint pain. But it is not supposed to onset for a couple days - which is great bc I have a volleyball game scheduled for Friday at 4:30. We'll see how this plays out. I better win some games.

Anyway, thanks for the thoughts and prayers.

Have a great week!

Peace, MEA

Team In Training

As many of you know, one of the comforts of being diagnosed with Hodgkin's disease was that I knew all about it from my years of working at The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. From 1996-2003 I worked in Portland and then the Hawaii office helping people raise over 3 million dollars for cures for blood cancers.

What I now know about funding research is that the money raised today is used for the cures of tomorrow. I am lucky to be diagnosed with Hodgkin's - it has a 90% survival rate. That didn't used to be the case. Just 30 years ago (say if I would have had it when I was a baby) Hodgkin's was a death sentence. Now, as soon as I was diagnosed, you know I asked many of you to pray that it was Hodgkin's, because the research of the past has made it one of the easiest cancers to cure.

There are still many cures to be found, and The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society is still raising money for those cures. One of the programs that allows people to fight against blood cancers and what they have done to a friend or family member is the Team In Training program. It trains every day people to do an endurance event. In the months that they are training and preparing they are also fund raising to a specific dollar goal.

There are many comparisons to marathon training and going through cancer treatment, but the one that sticks in my mind the most is that you are not the same person you were before you started. It is not that you are better or worse than before, you are just changed. I know for me, when I completed my marathon for TNT in 2008 I felt like I could do anything I set my mind to (walk from the far end of Portland to the WA border), and now being diagnosed with cancer, I am way more particular about what it is exactly that I do set my mind to (ie looking for the blessings in each day, rather than being bogged down by the upsets).

So below are the links to some very special people who I know and love that are currently involved with TNT. The average donation is $26.20 (a dollar for every mile). If you feel so led, please support these people so in the future Hodgkin's isn't the only cancer we can pray is our diagnosis.

Kathy Neal is my mother-in-law. I doubt this is the apparel she will be wearing for her marathon, but it was great for putting in the installation in our house. She is doing the Phoenix 1/2 Marathon in January. If you would like to support Kathy please go to her web page at

http://pages.teamintraining.org/or/pfchangs09/kneal

Katie Duman is a cousin. She is doing the Honolulu Marathon in December. She has some great stuff she is knitting for donations. Take a look. If you would like to support Katie go to her web page at:
http://pages.teamintraining.org/or/honolulu08/kduman

Christy and Cheryl are my soon to be in laws, because (YEA!) my brother is marrying Christy next year and Cheryl is her mom. They just completed the Nike Women's Marathon on October 19th. They completely surpassed their fundraising goals. This is Christy's second marathon with TNT. She was supposed to take it easy because she just had shoulder surgery a couple month ago. She didn't and PR'ed. Amazing! This is Cheryl's 1st marathon. At one point she didn't know how it was going to all turn out. But I heard it all turned out great. She finished and even made it to the victory party later that night. Great job you guys! Check their pages for their comments on their marathon training experiences.

Their web pages are as follows:

http://pages.teamintraining.org/sac/nikesf08/christychandler

http://pages.teamintraining.org/sac/nikesf08/ckramer

Can I keep it?

So I was at the Palolo house today dinking around, when the neighbor boy, Kealii (kay-a-lee-e), came over carrying this. He proceeds to explain to me very rapidly that this jumped out of his sister's boyfriend's engine and that it has been wandering in all the neighborhood yards since, that it is very smart, it isn't afraid of his dog and that his mom won't let him keep it, so I can have it.

So for about 2 whole minutes I try to explain to him how Matt is out of town for the next 10 days and I can't just take a kitten home without talking to him about it first. Then I ask if he had fed the kitten - no. Given it anything to drink - no. We, Kealii and I, decide we should go to the gas station next door, which Kealii has already informed me has cat food. So we get it some food and water, then settle into figuring out what we should name it and how old Kealii will be when Matt and I ask him to come over and take care of it when we go out of town. He proudly takes on the Godparent roll.

So, I am now back in my apartment in Waikiki, with the cutest kitten in the world in my bathroom.

Reasons (rationalizations) I think Matt will be ok with this when he gets home on the 28th.

1. We were going to get a kitten as soon as we moved into the Palolo house anyway.

2. The kitten found me (as my friend Linda pointed out).

3. It matches our Palolo house. The kitten is gray, our steps and slate are gray.

4. Nobody else was going to take care of it.

5. I called Matt's mom and she said he would be fine with it. (The clincher!)

I will go to the pound tomorrow just to make sure that no one is looking for her, so this may not be a done deal. But she sure is fun for tonight.

But just in case, check out the new poll to the left. Lots of good names, but don't have a strong feeling yet. Vote fast, because if I do keep her I am going to have to call her something soon.

Yea!!

Peace, MEA

To Wig or Not to Wig?

Isaiah raising the roof in the blue rocker hair.

The week has been great! I think my second treatment of chemo was easier than my first. I was a bit more tired, but less of an upset stomach. I think that is a fine trade off.

So now that I cut my hair short, I thought I would wear the wig to work. Thank you all for voting, by the way. It was a close race. I secretly always loved the brown long layered, even though I understand the point of getting something totally different. I thought I would wear it for continuity - just for work. There are some doctors who I have told, but others, I just don't have that kind of relationship with.

Me off to work with in my hair hat.

So Monday, I put on my "hair hat" and off to work I went. It lasted until Wednesday. After Wednesday, I was over the "continuity" idea. The hair hat was super hot, itchy and gave me headaches. (Of course Matt thinks I was just wearing it too tight.) I also felt super self conscious and that everyone could tell it was a wig anyway. Plus I like the short hair. By Thursday, I was over being the slave to fashion or a hair hat, and went with my new shorn locks. Yes, I had to answer a few more questions about it, but having Hodgkin's is not something I am ashamed of, so why not talk openly about it. I don't know, that is my current stance on it anyway. We'll see how I progress.

This Thursday was great. Laramy started with a mango and avocado salad, then what he called his version of beef and broccoli. Of course he got rave reviews and everyone wants to be his new best friend.

Laramy striking a pose in the long brown layers.

Who ever is praying for my sense of humor about my hair - it is working. After dinner we brought out the hair hat and everyone tried it on. You can see for yourself that some were greatly inspired by the long brown do.

Josh - How did he get that wind blown look?

Dawn - wow that's straight!

Linda - she said she is definitely more comfortable as a blond.

But Josh liked it.

Shannon - I don't think that middle part is working for you.

Matt - How come it looks like a short brown wig on him?

Cutie pie Isaiah.

His laugh when he saw himself in the mirror was an eruption of joy.

STRENGTH!

The ladies who brought me through!
Dawn, Shannon, New Me, Alicia, and Linda

Finished Product - for Tonight!

We did it! The Evening was set. Laramy was making dinner, the girls were coming and the clippers were out.

Started with good food and wine - thanks to Laramy. Again he outdid himself. This time with chicken stuffed with mushrooms and cheese with a sauce that completely delighted the group along with carrots and asparagus on the side.

Laramy Creating Dream-a-licious Food!

Linda, Alicia, Dawn and Me.

(Shannon's behind on the floor entertaining Isaiah)

The girls all made it on such short notice. I just asked them to come, if they could, this morning. And they all made it, said marvelous things, and made a fantastic memory out of something I was dreading.

Isaiah and Josh provided the entertainment for the evening. Josh played the blues and Isaiah laughed and laughed the cutest little kid laugh on the planet - spoken like a true Godparent.

So after I had put it off long enough, the girls rallied and determined it was time to start a cuttin'. I wondered who out of the group would take the scissors in hand (no small task mind you - I don't think I could have done it). As you can see from the pictures, Shannon was the cutter. She did a great job. And the enthusiasm/direction she got from Linda, Dawn and Alicia was superb. I felt so loved and taken care of by these girls. Truly cherished.

Don't get me wrong. They weren't all business, there were more than a few jokes here and there about leaving this or that long scragley for a side pony tail or something.

Matt wasn't going to get off lightly either. All the years he has begged me to clip his hair finally came back to haunt him. He used his clippers his mom gave him one Christmas on his own wife. At first they weren't working very good and it was a bit painful (that is what this picture shows). But after a bit of help from Josh and some oil, the clipper came to life and did the job. But why are the girls making this face? I am sure glad I wasn't looking at them at this point.

All in all I am supremely happy with the finished product. Not bad for a bunch of athletic girls that never sat around and played beauty salon with their Barbies - or maybe we did and just did tell - you'll never know.

Psalm 27:14 "Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage. And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say on the Lord!" This verse was definately true for me last night. The courage and strength I felt were amazing. I wasn't that way to begin with, but it came from Him - through my husband and my friends. They were amazing, and I am so thankful for the provision.
Peace,MEA

Two Down!

Last picture with hair - for a couple months anyway.

I got it! I got it! I got it! YEA!!!!!

I got my chemo today. That makes 2 down, 6 to go. I am 1/4 of the way done.

I feel great today. They hop me up with so many steroids and anti nausea stuff, I have already cleaned the bathroom and am getting ready to do the laundry. Tomorrow I should be a little more tired.

I still have a little bit of the cold left, but since my counts were back up, the doc felt I was good enough to get it. I am soooooo happy!

Tonight is going to be a big goings on though. I am finally doing it. I am shaving my head. My shower experience this morning convinced me. But your prayers helped, because I didn't cry and I felt ok with it. I am mostly grossed out by the hair that is all over my floor, my bed and my clothes. It is just really grody. So I invited a few of my girl friends over to help Matt and I get through it. I figure between the 6 of us, somebody is going to have the nerve to actually do the shaving.

Of course Matt wanting to be in solidarity with me immediately decided that he would shave a mohawk in his hair tonight. I don't really know if I want that much solidarity. Of course we will photo document it, so look for it with the next post.

OK, that's it. I am doing good.

Have a great day!

Peace,
MEA

My Pity Party is Over

A new look for the wig poll?
This is the color I really wanted to dye my hair - Smurf Blue.

Sure was hard to have a good pity party for myself (see my last post). That very night I was overwhelmed with gestures from friends and family. One friend made a very extravagant dinner for us, another made a berry pie (both brought their very adorable kids over to play with) and my family sent a cancer care package - which included one Smurf Blue wig!

Crab stuffed shrimp in a creamy pasta, with crab cakes to start!

The pie and the pie maker with her beautiful baby boy!

Cancer Care Package with so much great stuff I can't begin to list it all.

Thank you all for your prayers, emails, cards, phone calls and gifts. I am so blessed - touched - overwhelmed by it all at once.

Oh, and I spoke too soon about not losing my hair. It has started. I might not have any left by this time next week. I guess I don't have as much guts as I thought I did, because I haven't shaved it off yet. I am still hoping for "thinning". No clumps of hair are falling out, and my pillow is still ok in the morning, but not sure what tomorrow will bring. It's harder than I thought, which makes me feel silly and vain for caring so much about hair -which will grow back and doesn't hurt physically at all to lose. It's totally mental. But really sucks. I guess maybe pray for me to have a better sense of humor about it, so I don't take it or myself so seriously.

What is really annoying, is I still have hair growing all over the rest of my body - still shaving my legs everyday and the hair on my arms is as fuzzy as ever. What is that?

Wait until you see the pictures of the house from this weekend. We are finishing the tiling in the master shower and Matt is doing a great job. Hopefully the pictures do it justice.

Peace, MEA

So Grumpy!

View of the ceiling in the main room.

So I am a mess. I have cancer, I have a cold, and I have an annoying neck/shoulder pain that is keeping me awake at night.

I got a cold (just your regular run of the mill cold) on Friday. I had to go to a neighbor island for work and I sat right next to a guy on the plane who coughed the whole flight - bummer (needless to say I told my team that I won't be traveling neighbor island anymore until I am through chemo). I stayed home from work all week to try and get better before chemo today. But no dice. They do blood work before every chemo to check and see where you are. My white counts were too low to give me chemo. So now I have to wait until next Thursday, to back and check again. They say it is normal to have to postpone a treatment at least once. So there is nothing to worry about, unless if when I go back next Thursday the white cells are still low. I am sure they won't be. Plus we are not to worry about tomorrow. I saw a great quote about worry. It says worry is a terrible waste of a great imagination.

What REALLY disgruntles me is that I already marked all my dates for chemo in pen on my calendar. Now my calendar is all wrong and miss marked. So maybe I should add obsessive complusive to my list.

Although, I can see the benefit in not having chemo the week of Thanksgiving and Christmas. I know there is a plan, and it will make more sense in the long run, but I am really bummed about that calendar (yes, I am being meladramtic, but I get it from my husband. He He He).

Alright, enough about that.

Hey, I haven't lost my hair yet. There is still time to vote on the wig poll. Thank you for your votes and comments. You cannot believe how many times a day I check this blog for new additions. It is a great distraction.

Have a great day!

Peace,

MEA